So in my last post we came to the conclusion that you’re all pretty much afraid of everything.
But if you want to really conquer your fears, we’ll have to dig a little deeper to uncover what lies at the bottom of it all.
Again, Susan Jeffers (Feel the Fear… And Do It Anyway) starts to scratch the surface:
“At the bottom of every one of your fears is simply the fear that you can’t handle whatever life may bring you.”
What we fear, in a nutshell, is the unknown. Not the outcome your fear is predicting. But rather not knowing what will happen to us as a result of our action. Our ability to deal with the consequences of our actions.
Put that another way and we can say what actually holds you back is…
Your Fear Of Your Fears
Franklin Delano Roosevelt said it famously in his 1933 inaugural address:
It was true back then. And it’s just as true (if not more so) today. The truth is we’ve evolved so far, that today our biggest fear is simply… well, fear. Your heart starts to race, your palms get a little sweaty, some part of your brain starts commandeering all your thoughts and suddenly you’re beating a retreat from whatever you’re facing.
It’s your fear of your fears – of the effects that any negative consequences might have on you – that keeps you paralyzed. It’s your fear of your fears that keeps you from taking any kind of bold action. It’s your fear of your fears that inspires and exaggerates your expectations of a negative outcome. The loss you’ll incur before you’ve taken the first step.
It’s your fear of your inability to deal with, embrace, appreciate, and even enjoy what facing our fear might give us, that holds you back. And leads to all the frustration and dissatisfaction you endure.
And here’s the great irony of it all…
When you give in to your fear of your fears, you end up clinging to the things that you don’t want in order to avoid the things you don’t know.
Are you getting this?
OK then. Time for your next exercise. Answer the following:
What Are You Really Afraid Of?
Go back to your answers to the first question and dig a little deeper. Be really honest here. Answer the question:
Don’t simply think of the outcome. But rather the impact that outcome would have on you. How would you end up?
Challenging question, I know. But only by taking it on will you ever get to the place you want to be. Get going!
When I come back next Tuesday, we’re going to challenge your “fear of your fears” by looking at fear through a whole different lens!